The Beauty Aspect: Part Two
As Missy Elliot would like to say, “Get your nails done, get your hair did.” I’m a firm believer in the ladies pampering themselves but the truth most women work full time jobs and raise full time families. Those who don’t have both or just have one, still lead full time lives and that a lot can be taxing and of itself. And if you are on my boat, pampering means a financial selfish act that is taking away from a collective bigger picture.
Sure, my fiancé wants me to feel my best and he loves to see me get dolled up (the rare times that I do) but when your planning a wedding or even just trying to make it through the monthly bills with a little left over for groceries; things like: “getting your nails done and your hair did” come with a definite “no” answer.
That’s a $200 adventure in ‘self care’ at the cheapest rate possible. Yea, you’re nails might look fab and your hair might be on point but now the car payment’s late or for me, $200 is missing from the place labeled, “wedding shit.”
Again, if you live in the world of luxury and can afford all the extras while sustaining a comfortable living, more power to you.
However, this blog probably isn’t for you. I dunno, maybe it is? Maybe you too are down with saving a penny or two. Who am I to presume?
For my other ladies that are part of the ‘Thrift Sister Tribe’ this blog is right up your alley and hopefully will turn into an ally?
There’s nothing wrong with splurging. You deserve it! You work hard and life isn’t only made for wealthy folks to enjoy and for you just to pay bills and die. You’re worthy of the finer things and moments too. It’s just....when you don’t have deep pockets...you have to get creative with those wants and desires. It’s not a need. Yes, there is a need in all of us to never look like we just jumper out of a dumpster but when it boils down to “needs,” pampering yourself gives nothing to your survival. You may look great but if the lights turn off or you can’t eat for a week, that cute hairstyle and done up nails aren’t going to do you any good.
I grew up lower middle class. I grew up knowing we were broke. Before it became trendy, I actually shopped at the thrift shops because that’s all we could afford. Now it’s just a part of me and I still shop in them regularly.
I believe you can tell a lot about a town from their thrift shop inventory and because of this, any place I visit I make sure a consignment, antique, or thrift store is on the list of things to do.
I’ve discovered some gems and I know...ONE DAY...I’ll find those Minnetonka boots I so desperately want. My mama didn’t name me Hope for no reason, you know!
Not to mention the sweet finds are better for the environment. It’s reusing and recycling and why be part of the problem if you can be part of a solution? Some second hand goods are top notch and I love digging to find that golden needle in the haystack.
Mind you some stores that claim to be second hand don’t have the second hand price tag to match. These shops annoy me to no end.
“No, I don’t want to pay double the original price because it’s vintage.”
Growing up I was never that kid wearing the most expensive styles. I was never that teen girl that had the newest haircut and make up always on. To this day, I rarely a face and my hair...well....that gets done by me but it usually involves a bun, braid, ponytail, or pigtails....if I feel like going the extra mile that. Nothing fancy, just simple and I’m okay with that.
There are a few perks to not being able to afford make up though: 1) my skin looks great and 2) I look much younger than I actually am so you take the good with the bad., I guess. I look at some of these makeup and hair blogs and although I admire their looks, once the makeup is off their skin is terrible. It’s been terrible for years due to caking junk on over the course of time.
*side note: when you leave your makeup on overnight, you add SEVEN YEARS to your face. SEVEN YEARS!!!
When the hair comes to an in between phase, it looks brittle and fake. When the nails take a breather from all those colors, the nails are weak and yellow from all the chemicals schlepped on for years. And I don’t know about you but I swear, nail salon work-although nice occasionally-doesn’t last. Maybe it’s because I work with my hands or my nails grow exponentially fast but before I know it, I’m looking at nail color gaps and grown out cuticles. The upkeep alone would cost a fortune and why pay someone to do something I’m damn well capable of doing myself. Besides, my nail color collection didn’t just get purchased to sit on a shelf and collect dust. What a waste.
Still, sometimes you want a new nail color or you want your hair to get done professionally. I get that. I want those things too...I am a women as well and I do them when I can, if I do desire.
For the most part I can “wax my brows, do my nails without them looking manhandled, and create hairstyles that are fun and new. I’m still working on the hair dye part. Truth. I can’t figure out how to evenly distribute and it’s rather frustrating.
No worries though. All those “girly things” require learning, tweaking, and honing in on a craft...and I’ve had opportunities to practice. I’m one of those people that fidgets and if I can keep my hands busy, I’m happy so there’s been many a random moment where while watching a movie, I’m testing out a new braid or plucking a hair or giving myself a mani/pedi. Being a restless person has taught me many things. Hahaha...everything except clearly the hair dying part...but just like my boots, I will master this one day too.
What I can’t take care of myself, my resources can. Look ladies, we all have at least ONE friend who’s unbelievable at hair and makeup. Her skill and artistry are a talent and you have probably even given her a compliment or asked her to do you up a time or two.
I’ve been asked to do a friend’s wedding makeup and I was both shocked and pleased. It was a huge compliment to me and it will be to your friend. I mean it was to me and it is to my girlfriend that I have asked.
Let your community help and this goes for all wedding things and while you are worried about bothering your friends or family for help, they are actually moved by the sentiment and ready and willing to assist you in creation of your magical day.
At one point in my life I had quite the makeup collection. It had taken an extremely long time to acquire. Extra tips saved for that new shade but in one night...one crappy night...my collection became someone else’s.
*Story: I was in my 20’s and after a night out with my then boyfriend, I was focused on getting his highly intoxicated butt in our house. I left makeup bag in the car overnight because again, I was taking care of my drunk partner. The things you do for love. The next morning I saw my car had been broken into and my makeup bag along with a few CD’s and some change had been stolen.
After that, I gave up my pursuit in purchasing high end cosmetics. I have replaced a few items but to me someone stealing everything I had worked many hours to get was like me setting the money I made on fire....and what’s that saying, “Screw me once, shame on you. Screw me twice, shame on me.” I can’t guarantee I will never leave a bag in the car again...just now...that bag won’t contain brand name beauty enhancers. Have fun stealing that one.
Furthermore and this is just something I have noticed, a color is a color. I comprehend quality occasionally reflects price but let’s be honest, most things can be substituted by cheaper alternatives.
Along with the dolled up face, done up hair and nails on *fleek, most brides I hear don’t want to look the color of their dress. Most are going for a darker shade of pale. That’s cool. I feel ya...and I’m on that bandwagon too...the only difference...the sun works just fine. I recognize what a tanning bed can ultimately do-sun kissed skin in a matter of minutes....and I’d be lying if I said I’ve never used one but once I learned how awful they were for you...I stopped. And, they are.....terrible for you and I’ve got to pick and choose my bad choices in life. You can’t have all the bad choices.
I haven’t visited a tanning bed since my early 20’s and once it got warmer, it didn’t make sense to pay for something I could receive for free. I work from home so I have the ability to go outside often and I do. I sit in the sun for a few minutes then come back in and work. For an extra kick in darkness I use a mixture of lotion and cocoa and lather it on the skin or olive oil to to enhance the color kick.
Just a few little tips I learned on.....(drumroll please).....dear old Pinterest.
Here I go again plugging them. It definitely works but I recommend getting the consistency down by practicing before your big day or before giving up. What is it with me a ratios?
Another nifty hack and this is a bonus from my first post...wanna brighten your smile? You’ve got to really cheap options here: one involves a lemon and the other hydrogen peroxide and they both involve baking soda.
Your first option: squeeze a piece of lemon and mix with baking soda until you get a paste. Pat your teeth dry then apply the paste. Leave on for one to three minutes then rinse out. Brush your teeth and smile. Do this at least a couple times a week until you see your desired shade of pearly whites.
Your second choice: add baking soda and hydrogen peroxide together to make a paste like consistency. This doesn’t have to be as thick as the lemon/baking soda combo-really it’s up to you. Brush your teeth normally and bam! Your teeth will be at least a shade lighter. I recommend doing both of these before bed. I say this because of two reasons. 1) You aren’t eating or drinking anything while you sleep so these hacks are working at their highest level for you. 2) Brushing your teeth is part of your nightly routine so it’s not that hard to schedule a teeth whitening regime during this time.
And while we’re on the subject of money saving hacks here are your bridal or just life saving beauty tips as promised: skin, nails and hair.
Thrifty Tip Four
Incorporate your buddies on your day. I’m grateful for all the friends and family I have making my day extra special. My officiant: a relative. My DJ: an old roommate and retired radio personality. My photographer: an old high school buddy. The woman doing my hair and makeup: a girlfriend from college.
I can’t empathize this enough: when going into wedding planning mode, the reality of how ludicrous “these essentials “ cost was eye opening....to say the very least. But since we’re just speaking about hair getting done and a face put on, I’ll stay on track and save those experiences for another post.
My daily makeup routine isn’t much and I already have all the colors I want for my bridal look. To me buying more doesn’t make sense and I swear sometimes I am so overwhelmed by the choices on one shade of a color. Call it ‘Midnight Train’ if you want but I just see a dark blue.
You know this only being humbled by being broke as taught me an extremely valuable lesson in consumerism. I am a conscientious buyer now and unless you have deep pockets, you too will be watching every penny during the planning of a wedding. Things come up and ideas change. Added expenses you never knew could be “added” do and YOU have to pay for them. No ifs, ands or other solutions about it.
I will tell you this though....during the pissing out money right and left sometimes you fall into lucky freebies.
I got tickets to a bridal show. It was a free bridal show but you still had to get tickets. Unfortunately, I was unable to go and super bummed about it but when work calls, you answer. Surprisingly, that ticket entered me in vendor giveaways. I won three in total. One was a makeover that came with a makeup package.
Me, along with about 15 other brides-to-be received charcoal facials, were slathered with anti aging serums and got tested for perfectly matched cosmetic combinations. We also received some pretty sweet swag for participating. I came home after that venture feeling absolutely stunning and my fiancé loved the look too.
Look for free bridal shows and get tickets. Go and get you some freebies or ideas. Enter those bridal giveaways. Hopefully you too will win a few contests.
Indulge in those tiny bridal moments. You are allowed and not to mention, they are fun and in midst of all the wedding chaos, you will need some fun. In the last year, I’ve won: a guest book, champagne flutes, the makeover and some makeup, a three night hotel stay, and a few other things that unfortunately I couldn’t redeem or had use for. These have been the perk side of a very stressful situation and any bride on a budget looks at free as a godsend.
Desperately needing some hair TLC, I finally after almost two years of it not being touched, not even a cut-found a coupon for a new client special. It turns out, I loved the woman who did my hair and will be returning as soon as I can splurge once more.
With that said, look for coupons on all things. Both Groupon and community magazines are solid starting points. If you’re really tight on cash though but want something new or just a trim, look into cosmetology schools. The students need to log the hours as well as the experience and cuts and color are discounted heavily and I mean heavily.
The only risk is: the student screws up. Although truth be told, years of training doesn’t necessarily mean someone doing this for years won’t do the same thing. There’s inherent risks with either. It happens so before your stress level rises just remember a bad haircut is a temporary ‘first world problem’ and to ensure you can overcome any hair disaster, plan ahead. Meaning don’t wait until the last month to get a style or cut. At the end of the day though, remember there are worst things that could happen and your guests or honey really could care less what your hair looks like.
My hair and makeup gal is in another state but I trust her and love everything she does so I’m not worried about a one and only shot at making me look pretty. Without her help and handy work, I’d be doing it myself because I just can’t afford paying someone to do it. Which would be fine but on my big day this is one less thing I want to worry about and given that I’m a very hands on bride already and will continue to be as close to an hour before I walk down the aisle, nor do I want too. My friend is saving me and I couldn’t be more grateful.
Reach out to your community. The worst that will happen is a “no” response but you won’t find this out unless you ask and when you start this process, you will be pleasantly surprised the amount of people that don’t might at all being involved.
Skin:
I have been blessed with good skin but making it remain that way takes effort on my part. I’m Greek and come from great skin genes but that’s no guarantee for life long results. Ladies, makeup is not helping your skin. It’s nice and fun to play with but it’s terrible for you. I’m not saying avoid it because I don’t so why would I tell you too. No, what I’m saying is your skin needs to breathe. Just like your nails do. Just like your soul does. Wear it occasionally. It’s not part of my daily routine but it may be a part of yours and that’s okay. I’m just giving you tips. Take them or leave them.
Most of the time, my face is in its natural state. I’m 38 and often get mistaken for half my age. I still get carded and asked, “Are your parents home?”
I attribute this not only to my DNA but also because I don’t plaster the makeup on daily. I don’t sit in the sun for long periods at a time, nor do I use SPF when I do. Interesting enough, recent studies have shown that SUNBLOCK actually causes more skin cancer than the actual sun itself. Whaaat? Yup, it’s a new study and if you haven’t heard about it, I recommend reading up. It’s definitely a perspective worthy of consideration. Not only does it enhance cancer cells but...if you are a water dweller like me...SPF destroys that too. The oils from these products wreaks havoc on a water’s natural ecosystem...so why even buy it? It’s not gods for you or the environment....win/win for your wallet and the earth. I mean, it’s one less plastic container to consume, right?
Sometimes I want to scream at these makeover tutorials. They show some woman with horrible skin and yellow nails covering up the damage that’s been done...only making it worse. Those nails are yellow because of constant painting and salon chemicals. Your hair is brittle because you won’t give it time to heal from the last dye job you did. Your skin is breaking out because you won’t let air out. Ease up or age faster than a dying grape.
Take care of these things now and don’t rely on fancy alternatives that deplete your financial goals. Get resourceful.
For instance, if my skin is feeling drab one day, I lather it up with olive oil. Good old fashioned cooking olive oil. Hahaha. I guess I’m plugging olive oil now too.
It works like a charm and if you don’t believe me, I encourage you to try it.
I also wash my face daily and rinse it with cold water instead of hot. Usually before bed, right after I brush my teeth. I learned this from watching ‘Mommy Dearest’ and Joan Crawford was one crazy bitch but her skin was flawless so I’ll try anything once and my skin does appear tighter so I’ll stick with it.
However, I don’t advise adding ice to the cold water. That shit hurts. *side note....if you do wear makeup daily, WASH IT OFF AT NIGHT. Not washing your face clean can add seven days to your face and I don’t know about you buuuut...I’m not trying to speed up the aging process especially since it’s already right around the corner for me.
Nails:
Just like I did for my high school prom, I will be getting my nails done professionally for my wedding. I’m only getting them painted and the word ‘love’ written on my ring finger fingernail though. Still it’s a factored in cost on the overall wedding spending but until then, I’ll paint them myself and if you can too, why not? Save that monthly or by monthly nail salon visit and put it somewhere else like: your honeymoon or other wedding extras.
Get a foot bar and scrub your feet daily with it and if you have the extra time set yourself up to soak them and go all in. Give yourself your own pedi! You can say you don’t have time for that but if you don’t have time to do it yourself, how do have time to have a professional do it? Revisit your old nail color collection, you’ve got some goodies in there. I know you do. If they’re old add a little of nail polish remover to it. If it’s too old, throw it out. No need to hang on to it. Another useful tip for olive oil...if you have rough hands or feet...rub this stuff on. If you can sleep with socks on, lather and leave over night. If not, no worries. Just rub on after a shower and move on with your day.
Tested. Tried. And true. Olive Oil is the nectar of gods.
Us budget bridal babes need to cut corners wherever we can. Having someone else do what we can do is great and all but that cost money. Don’t deprive yourself but don’t over indulge either, especially if your weighing throwing a stellar celebration versus you being narcissistic for the sake of beauty. I will tell you this: what a great wedding boils down to is food, music, and free booze. Yeah, I wanna look my best. Like the best I’ve never seen before....but I care about my guests having a good time more. I will look my best. I’m getting married to the love of my life. I’m saying “I do” to my best friend. The glow only will make me look fierce.
You don’t always need “your nails done or your hair did.” You don’t need to look tan when it’s cold or have the whitest smile in the room. You don’t need your face piled on with layers of swanky varnish. You are beautiful without all the extras and the costly upkeep. Unless you live to be a status rather than a real person, get your natural on! Embrace the days where you’re free of a social standard to be a sexy anything. You are sexy without all the hype and if you need all the hype to feel your best, that’s an inner issue that needs working out. No amount of nail and hair care, name brand goods, and body alterations will cure that.
Speaking the married life...your partner...your life mate...loves you the same without the bells and whistles. They’ve seen you at your worst and they’ve showed you off at your best. They know who you are and what’s inside and I almost guarantee their fantasies involving you....don’t involve you all done up...it’s more like in your birthday suit and that’s all.
My fiancé said this to me, “I’m looking forward to taking the dress off.” Hahaha and here I was worried about my hair, makeup, nails, body? I’m not a disheveled mess and won’t be on my wedding day either but I’m not consumed with a perfect body image. Maybe that comes with age or maybe because I have really never had the life that allows consistent princess pampering...doesn’t matter. I’m okay with it. I like myself and know myself well enough and when I’m on my deathbed people aren’t going to remember by what I looked like...they will be remembering who I was a person instead.
Getting wedding ready doesn’t mean changing your appearance or going broke to be this unreal version of yourself. Freebies are always a welcomed treat and take this blog as such.
My journey is almost to its end and through this whole adventure, I have learned some really rad things about myself. What I’m capable of. How creative I can actually be. How inventive and resourceful I am. How truly, I am, as a person.
It’s a mysterious world-this wedding planning one. A chapter full of self discoveries and bittersweet with its ending. Still, there’s so much to be shared and even though my wedding experiences are wrapping up, yours might just be beginning.
Next up: where I saved and where I couldn’t. And some handsy DIY tips that include some not so happy DIY observations.
Jul 1, 2018
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