A Woman On A Mission

A Woman On A Mission....As Well As A Budget. 

When I started this blog, I told its readers it was going to be all about living on a budget. You know doing the things you want in life-without going broke. And, it is going to be all about that...because...I truly believe it can be done. 

Before you get all, “But what about the expensive things in life or just life being expensive in general?” I get it. You are right, it is...but the good news is...YOU have choices and options and we live in a free yet *wasteful market. No offense but we do waste a lot. *I will save that for another blog or post though and spare you my political opinions. You’re not here for that. Ha.

Soooo. Hear me out. 

I’ve pretty much always counted my pennies because I’ve never lived a life where I didn’t have the choice to do so otherwise. I’ve always played this game of mostly everything going to something important like a bill or a responsibility and that’s okay. I’ve seen places and done things and my life isn’t on hold or incomplete. Also, the older I get the less there is a desire for the fancier things in life. An expensive vehicle isn’t my thing-unless you count a classic car. A big, lavish home isn’t my thing. I’d rather be close to the people I love and use the space I have. My life is not a bad one. In fact, I get great satisfaction from it. I have my health, clean water to drink, a roof over my head, food to eat, a loving partner, a sweet fur baby and I am surrounded by a solid group friends and family. So in retrospect-I’m alright....and those are the important things. 

Still, my financial woes are only temporary and they were my choice. I went after a dream and knew that meant sacrifice. However, I am positive I will-one day-not have to be so frugal...but until I get there, choices are what I have and decisions are what I’m making. 

And honestly, this whole lesson on ‘tightening my belt’ hasn’t been a bad one. Sure, there have been moments where I have been completely stressed out, wide awake at night trying to figure out how all the bills are going to get paid but this isn’t my first rodeo and I have faith things will work out. They always do. I work hard and sacrificing for me hasn’t meant giving up something in exchange for some celebrity style life. It’s just meant a change in focus and direction. Those things are meant to be exciting-no matter how frightening they can be. This whole journey into thrifty living has led not only to sleepy eyes opening but to a new means of living and a perspective that I feel better about. 

I’m opening doors I never thought possible and the universe is listening...all because I chose to believe that watching my pennies is a good thing and not a pain in the rear. Again, sure I get irritated that I have to constantly walk a financial balancing rope but that’s just me and my moods and they are usually passing. 

You know why? 

Because I’m creative and resourceful and understand what really matters and what doesn’t at all. I’ve seen too many signs to think otherwise so I no longer think of my plight as a struggle, rather it’s a new refreshing direction. A way of life that’s lifted me from the dredges. 

Buying an expensive top vs. paying a debt. A choice. Finding a thrift store score and paying a debt. A decision. Going on a grand trip vs. sticking some extra money in savings. A choice. Taking a weekend getaway to a local location with my husband and sticking some in savings. A decision. Going on an expensive date vs. putting money towards the next month. A choice. Going to a free art show and putting money towards next month and making a date out of it. A decision. 

I weigh the choices and options constantly and until I’m ahead, I don’t mind. Like I said, it’s not a bad way to live. 

You’ll hear me repeat that phase often. 

The goal is to get out of the financial hole. 

A few years ago, the bottom fell out. I/we (my now husband and I) had to get inventive. We barely had enough money to make ends meet and we were both working like crazy. We were exhausted, financially stressed, fighting constantly, and extremely anger and disappointed in our future suddenly bursting into flames. Which it did. Figuratively speaking of course. It was a future we worked so hard to get and just like that-it was gone. That happens sometimes and your best move is to keep moving forward...because they only way to get out of the mess is to go through it. Messes, even if you try to avoid them...have a way of hunting you down. They are like the grim reapers of hassles and tag your it. 

So yea, our hassles went cray on our asses and we went into fight or flight mode. 

Those two years bring me shivers. I go from rage to sadness to happiness. Rage because I know it should have been different. Sadness because of how it turned out and happiness because I’m free. I went through all the normal cycles we all go through when the boat tips over or the table breaks. 

And when life throws a wrench in your plans,  you have to get smart, have courage, and be open to your plans getting shaken apart. Pay no mind though-just grab the wrench thrown at you and use it to rebuild. Rebuild until you have a solid foundation. 

We still have a ways to go before we both feel finally free of all the weights but for once-in what seems to be forever-we see a clearer path. A month before I got  married, I told my husband, “The worst is over.” And, it is. The worst is over. I’m taking what I learned and living accordingly. 

Saving doesn’t mean stopping. Making decisions doesn’t mean you forfeited a choice and getting creative is my forte so I’m up for the challenge-especially if the outcome is a positive one. 

My husband and I just got tired of this financial thunderstorm following us around. So we got smarter. There are a million and one ways and beyond to save a dime or make one and our choices are now creating wonderful decisions for the future. 

There are a plethora of ways to earn a little extra date night cash. There are an abundance of ideas on how to save a little extra and they don’t involve you losing your patience or mind in the process. They just involve you doing them and making them a part of your routine. 

I’m not a fan of the whole idea behind a side gig but I understand it. I get the need for it. I understand that nowadays “just getting by” takes more than just 40hrs at a regular job. You need more. You either need to live way below your means or spark some fire under yourself to get things moving. Whatever you do, it just can’t involve standing still. In addition to having a full time job, I too have ‘side gigs.’ 

My thrifty living got amplified while planning a wedding. My husband and I had a set budget. A very teeny tiny set budget...and there was no wiggle room for it to expand. I had to figure out something.  Everything we were making was going somewhere else and a wedding wasn’t in the cards unless we did more. 

I could have opted for a court side ceremony but I have always dreamed of that big day and despite where I was financially, I wasn’t willing to bend. I was however, willing to compromise on how much I really wanted to spend. 

Planning my wedding evoked a passion I had pushed down for years, it also became the catalyst for this blog. I’ve blogged for years but up until about a year ago, my blogging never had niche. I had written for multiple publications but I wanted something all my own-something I was truly passionate about and saving money is one of them. 

Finally. A direction. An epiphany. My blog has a story to tell. I know I’m not the only one out there speaking on this topic and I when I found others just like me, I felt an instant camaraderie to other women doing what I was I was doing. This is my knitting circle and I’m happily obliged show up with new metaphorical patches to share. 

Money making, saving money, life hacks are some of my favorite Pinterest finds and personally I need those real stories, that real information, not just some woman on a beach repeating, “love and light.” 

I need ideas, advice and direction on how to make things happen. Not just women in front of big cash purchases saying, “you can too.” Or, if you want to get brutally honest-not saying anything at all-just showing off. I’m not trying to sound bitter. Honest, I’m not bitter at all nor trying to make any woman not feel proud of what she has. Embrace that pride, I just don’t want any of that so I sorta pass it on by with a cynical roll of the eye.  

And until I have MY one goal of financial security happen, which I’m working on as we speak, it’s to the frugal tribe I go. I like us. We’re humble and kind and apt to, “Straighten the crown without announcing it’s crooked.” 

Hopefully, they will welcome me with open arms as well. 

Married, not married...we are living this life where every dollar counts. This thrifty sister crew started finding out tricks and hacks and wanted to share those secrets. 

As do I. 

So if you’re a follower-you know what time it is. Yup, it’s thrift saving tip time. 

Thrifty Tip One: 

Save money where it counts so you can have the money for the awesome life you deserve to live. If that’s a trip, an experience, a new whatever...or storing it away for a rainy day, it’s yours so do what you will with it. 

A huge area in which I have saved has been in the grocery shopping department. 

We all eat and need sustenance but sometimes because we’re broke, we rely on quick, easy and cheap. That’s all in good occasionally but unless you want a heart attack, it shouldn’t become the standard. When I grew up “fast food” was a treat because it was actually the expensive alternative but since the advent of the dollar menu as become the instant go to. You’re hungry and have a buck, there you go...a cheeseburger. It used to be some bread and sandwich meat wouldn’t cost more that that of the dollar menu but as we see now that’s not the case. My grocery bill was driving batty-even with coupons. I wasn’t saving much and it seemed like the price I always paid never added up to the amount in my bags.  I couldn’t figure it out and just like that-one day while shopping with little in my wallet I had an “Ah-ha” moment. 

Next time you go shopping, do this experiment. All those name brand items, take them and compare them to the store’s brand. Every name brand has its store brand equivalent. Shampoo, toilet paper, macaroni and cheese-you freaking name it. Look at the item-I mean look at it.  Compare the two. What you will find is they are the same except for TWO MAJOR THINGS: the price and the ingredients. Shocker to all! Those ingredients are actually better in your store brand items. 

If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s most likely a duck.

I couldn’t believe it either. So much so that when I figured this out, I came home with my groceries in hand-proud as a peacock-bragging about what I had to discovered then telling my husband how I want him to see it too. We haven’t gone back to name brands since. 

My ingredient theory has been tested multiple times and the results are the same. Healthier options, half the price. This is even true for your store brand “organic” section. My grocery bill has been cut in half since learning this trick. We stopped with the organic name brand  free range eggs and went with a local farm our grocery store supports and I mean real cage free eggs. You know what I’m talking about, right? Incase you don’t- cage free eggs all have different sizes, shapes and colors. If you eggs say “cage free” but look exactly the same-they indeed are NOT cage free. You’re eating eggs from hens that are cramped up and miserable. This switch has saved us about two dollars on eggs every time we get them. Our milk, same thing. It’s local about three dollars cheaper and doesn’t come with hormones. 

Two to three dollars off from what you were originally paying on every ticket item adds up and I’m no longer spending hours clipping coupons or entering apps for discounts. I’ve just become a smarter shopper. 

In the next year, I want to compare what we used to spend vs. what we do now-to see exactly that amount. For now, I know what that bill used to be vs. what it is today and I’m happy to report it’s a million times better. 

*Hint: if your trying to save money or get yourself in a better financial setting, you are going to have to keep track of every receipt. You will become your own book keeper...you have to. Every month should be laid out before you before entering the new month. This is part of your choice to make things better financially. You will find this tedious-unless you love Excel sheets-but at the end of every month, it’s refreshing to see what you’ve made vs. what you’ve spent. It is also the number one way to get ahead and to visually see where you stand. 

Thrifty Tip Two: 

So you want a date night? Who doesn’t? So you want to go somewhere you haven’t been before? Who doesn’t? So you want to try out some new restaurant? Of course, of course...what foodie doesn’t? But then you look into your account and see there’s no way. Don’t fret. Don’t crawl into a proverbial dateless hole. Go out, have fun and do your thing. 

Here’s how. 

Most restaurants have lunch specials or smaller menu items, happy hours and discounted apps. Find one and try it out. 

Most cities have free art walks! Do this and do it often. It’s fun and you get to see and support all your community. Most galleries offer free food and drinks. Some venues offer that and music. This makes not only for a fun date night but a free one as well. Win/win in my book. 

If art’s not your thing but nature is. Parks are free. Find one you haven’t been to and visit it. I feel lucky that I have so many trails at my fingertips that I often find myself wanting to do that over going to a fancy dinner. 

If you want to check out anything that  includes a ticket purchase, look into your state, city or nearest city’s FREE DAYS. Most states have these and yup they are all free. I’ve been to the zoo, art museum, science museum, and national park all on a free day. It’s a bit more crowded but personally, I don’t mind. I’d rather save the dime and share the space with others then regret doing something just to it. 

Like music but can’t wrap your head around a hefty concert fee? Look into free festivals or music in the park. Again, most cities have them and they go on throughout the year.

Wanna save the gas in your car for all these adventures? Grab some friends and car pool. Take the bus or train...or hop into to your local library and stay put. Your town-wherever you are-has community involvement and things to do when your board and low on cash. 

Wanna go further and broaden your choices? Got some clothes or household items you don’t want anymore that are still in great shape? Great! You are in luck because there’s a home for those things and they bring you money and depending on what you have, a decent amount of money. It’s nothing that will get you rich but it most certainly is enough to grant you some of those desires. 

Thrifty Tip Three: 

On a suggestion, I started an eBay page and it has been quite the treat. 

A) I now know people think my style is lovely and B) making side flow every month has helped in giant ways. 

Look! Imma be real honest, we all have things we haven’t worn, have barely worn, haven’t used, or have barely used lying around our homes. For me, it was clothes. Dresses, jackets, tops, and shoes...all taking up room and weighing me down. 

Who knew these things could buy me a date night or a ladies night or get me through the next month? Who knew this could help me with rebuilding a nest egg? 

I mean, I had heard about eBay before but I didn’t believe it could actually make you money. I never believed because I never tried. 

I couldn’t be more grateful to my friend and her money making sharing experience. This train has led me down another passion-one I never thought could ever work. 

For real, y’all...my whole life-aside from writing-I have always wanted to own a boutique and in the near future I hope my site becomes an online version of that very brick and mortar vintage shop. Records. Click here. Furniture. Click there. Clothing. Scroll down. I’ve always desired this and without my struggle, I may have never figured out the right steps to build that path. 

Thrifty Tip Four: 

Don’t give up! 

So you hit a rough patch...it’s okay. You will survive. Just keep moving. Look to our tribe for some solid advice. I’m making damn sure my sites don’t steer you wrong. I wanna help because we all deserve the life we dream of. Yours may include more of it may include less but my words are of those of wisdom. It’s not Devine, just “been there, done that.” 

You don’t deserve to be boggled down with worry. Although I’m sure you will from time to time. That’s human nature and there ain’t a damn thing that can change that. Just know-you are strong and capable and most importantly, loved. You can do this and you will. It’s just part of the process. 

And because this blog shouldn’t only be all about ways to save and live that thrifty tribe code....I gift you the “Cha-Ching, Whoop, Whoop” portion of my post. 

Cha-Ching Said Whaaaat: 

In addition to selling your unwanted items, check out this nifty app called, Job Spotter. It’s not cash in hand but it is something you can spend however you want...essentially. 

Your only requirement is to post pictures of “Help Wanted” signs. Not on your social site but theirs. 

Even better, right? 

Each sign collects points and the points get collected. They then get converted into Amazon gift cards. 

Very Cool, right? 

I told my sister about this app months ago and when she came to my wedding and saw a help wanted sign she stopped and took a picture of it. I, of course, knew why she was taking the photo and of course had to then probe her about how she liked the app? 

She gleefully revealed she had made a nice little chunk of change in Amazon gift cards because of it. 

Nice, right? 

I started using it when I was planning my nuptials. I needed candles and centerpieces. A cake topper. All those little things that add up and require money to get. Had it not been for Job Spotter those things would have never been purchased. 

This app is user friendly and the task is as easy as they come: take phone out, snap photo, send and watch points go up. From where I stand, you most likely have your phone on you anyway so why not earn some cash at the same time. 

I swear, once YOU download this app, you’ll thank me. FYI: they didn’t pay me to sell this nor even have a clue I have mentioned them. I just want to pass it along and tell others because it’s that freaking amazing. 

Now my next “Cha-Ching” proposition is more time consuming than the last but very much worth the hours and no I’m not talking about surveys. Those are a super invasive, time consuming and come with very little reward. 

Thank god, someone finally said it. 

You’re welcome. 

No, no, no...I’m talking about becoming a brand ambassador. I BA for multiple companies. Some pay me for pictures and “free” marketing while others require me to physically show up. 

The schedules are extremely flexible and pretty much allow me to dictate my own hours and already having a full time job, I need that flexibility.

All it takes is being reliable, fun, and interacting with strangers: either through your social media accounts or in person. BA’ing offers both and I can only relate it to *affiliate marketing. You are basically promoting a product in whatever ways they ask. Some ask for very little while others ask for much. It depends on you and what you can do. 

*head’s up, readers...if any of you do affiliate marketing, I would love to pick your brain on how. I want to talk to a human-not just a post that sounds like an advertisement. Please and thank you. 

One of my BA gigs is mainly through my Instagram page and it involves me marketing their products through pictures and posts. I believe in this company’s business practices so it was no question about advertising for them...and truth be told...because of those few posts...my husband and I were able to buy his wedding band. 

One he really was stoked to wear. I doubt had we found one along the way in some jewelry store, he wouldn’t love it as much as this one! I love his soul so much. 

Number one hint: believe in the product you are promoting...believe in what they do so it doesn’t come across as phony or fake. These companies want authenticity. 

My husband’s ring planted 100 trees and paid persons a living wage for their work...and our hearts are filled with love looking down at his finger. They do so much and I will continue to advertise for them...as long as I can...as long as they will let me. 

Hats off to you, Madera Outdoor Company. May we all find ways to follow your lead. 

Another BA project helped pay for my wedding catering total. A few hours of work on a few weekends I could spare and boom! Less stress here we come. 

If this sounds like something you are interested in look into it. I had to physically go to these events and there were no photos that could make up for my absence but nonetheless it was fantastic and great money. 

My best leads come from Facebook groups so start there. For example, if you live in Miami-type in Miami Brand Ambassadors. If you like a company, check to see if they do a brand ambassador program. It might be of the photo variety or it might be you promoting a live event...either or...give it a shot. 

Mom’s, dad’s, grandparents....the kiddos. Anyone can do this. 

Most businesses want free and organic connections with their consumers and they will pay you to do so. Either in heavy discounts or decent monetary compensation and whether you want the physical jobs or just the ones where you’re snapping a photo and writing a quick note hash tagging and @‘ing a business you support, BA work is a plenty. Look into any company you love...I promise they have some sort of BA program. If they don’t, mention it to them and make yourself known. 

Regardless....

When the going gets tough, the tough get going and we won’t stop until we reach the finish line. 

I love my life and I’m happier than I’ve ever been. My belt is tight but I’m stronger and wiser and well equipped for the challenge. I’ve hit hardships plenty of times before but the difference between now and then...

I have the know how to thrive, the tricks to survive, and my wonderful thrifty tribe all backing me up for tomorrow. 

We got this ladies, we got this. 

We Came. We Conquered.

We Came. We Conquered.

Sorry it’s been a while, folks. I’ve been busy wrapping up wedding plans and getting hitched. And this budget bride after all is said and done, came out only spending a fraction of what they say the “average American wedding” cost. Kudos. To. Me. I had to take a hiatus because those few months leading up to mine and my husband’s special day were crucial ones. First and foremost, two months prior the day of “I Do’s” my mother almost died. Both my mother and sister walked me down the aisle and I am dead honest when I say this: had tragedy stroke, there would have been no ceremony nor a celebration afterwards. I would have still married my husband...but no person would have been included. Before I go into all the wedding mumbo jumbo, I have to explain all that led up to this day. I knew from the get go that my engagement wouldn’t be a long, tedious one. I got engaged a year and a month before we actually did the deed. My fiancé’s stepmother passed away that summer and it’s how he acquired my ring. I couldn’t have asked for a better piece of jewelry to represent us and our journey. However, the circumstances surrounding it were still heartbreaking and I would trade the ring if it meant having her here. My fiancé’s real mother had passed away when he was 25 and after saying “yes, let’s do this” I knew I had to represent her in some way. I’ve heard stories and truth be told, I feel I am a lot like her. Big heart, mama bear type. So here we are in July 17’ picking the date 8/18/18...on his mother’s birthday. Sure, I could have dragged it out to 2019 but that date didn’t flow the way I wanted sooooo....we had a year and a month and that’s all. We had the ring that represented a fifty year marriage and his stepmother. We had the date that represented his mom and those were the beginning steps into this crazy adventure. Although it wasn’t until after the holiday season that we started laying down the groundwork. Right away my mother stepped in to make this day happen. She was my blessing and six months in, she became terribly ill. My mother is my best friend and being with someone who’s lost a parent, you never get over it. She was in and out of the ER and what was going on was literally shutting her body down. I use the term ‘literally’ in its true definition. She was literally dying. Five months to go, she was scheduled for emergency surgery. Four months to go, surgery happens. Four and a half months to go, she has post surgery complications and almost dies at four in the morning. Three months to go, she’s healing and determined to be at her daughter’s nuptials. Come hell or high water-she’s walking me down the aisle. Her words not mine. My wedding planning process has been an insane, upside down rollercoaster and being told how calm and happy both my husband and I were that day is a testament to what we went through getting to that point. I wanted my 2018 to be the best year yet...and it’s had its moments of complete bliss but on the opposite side of that coin, it’s also been brutal. Not to mention, the every day struggles and stresses mounting up. We don’t have deep pockets and neither do our families but even if we did....our point of view was filled with reason and logic not wants and desires. Again, without help from family and friends this day would have never been possible so I count my blessings and if you have someone footing your big day: take into consideration their wallets as well. It truly was a family affair and reflecting back, I’m elated by that notion. Everyone who came had that standing in my life-regardless of the DNA involved. Many people didn’t know all the bricks that kept getting thrown our way. No one wants to hear a bride bitch...I mean no one wants to hear complaining in general....buuuut....add planning a wedding to it and you just seem bratty. Besides, I couldn’t sulk. That was wasted energy and wouldn’t solve a thing. In the last year or so, I’ve learned a lot about myself and the thought process. I could either be upset or stay positive. I chose the latter and threw the bricks right back. Guests saw us happy and at peace and that’s because those unspoken trials and tribulations were done and over with....or maybe I was just over and done with them. At 38, my strength has become an impeccable force to be reckoned with. I dare say, I challenge those who don’t believe it. We were so happy because damn, we pulled it off. We were at peace because damn, everything we had dreamed of actually happened. Even the rehearsal was magical. It was weird. This strange but very appreciative energy that kept coming at us. Calm and happy was an understatement. Speaking of our rehearsal-when I planned it, we choose a place that we love and offers a variety of food. It was one of our very first places we had been to has a new couple to our new city. I was hoping we could rent out a room but we couldn’t afford that. We were okay with it because this place was that awesome. It didn’t really matter. However, the night we arrived there was a mixup in the reservation. Not on our end but theirs. They didn’t have us down for the right amount of people. Not even close but no worries, we were going to make it work and have a great time despite it. A manager just so happened to come up to where my mother and sister were sitting and asked, “How are things?” My sister never being the quiet one replied, “Do you want the truth or for us to lie and say everything’s great?” He looks perplexed and responded, “I want to truth.” Ten minutes later we are being ushered into a private space-the very room I wanted but knew wasn’t in the budget. I couldn’t be more grateful for how that night played out. A mishap turning into a dream I never thought possible. Seriously, this is the spot we wanted and here it was-all ours for the evening. On the house. It meant so much and going back to my beautiful hotel, I felt humbled. Our hotel had some hiccups too but again....those were swept under the rug when everyone who worked there were as gracious and kind as they could be. We were taken care of and it was a beautiful feeling to have. This hotel by the way, was so much fun and relaxing. It was centrally located and you could walk pretty much everywhere. If you couldn’t, an Uber or Lyft was inexpensive and readily available. I know Mom’s have all the compliments for their children but when she told me how she watched me talk to people and how she saw people from all over gravitate to us and our day in celebration, she had a very proud mom moment. That’s her baby girl being a woman. I still get loud and have a mouth on me but in the last couple of years, I’ve learned to stay a little more silent so when I do speak, it speaks volumes. Also slowly approaching 40, I’m being taught that toxic energy is worth twenty minutes of your time. Get pissed, shake it off, and keep moving forward. Almost losing someone important to you does that. What I learned about this whole experience is: that despite all the ups and downs, the universe listened. You will have things come up. It will be at times, a bumpy road. Your metaphorical tires will pop so carry some spares. Meaning, have some back up ideas and don’t sweat the small stuff. At the end of it, it will be beautiful. And it will go by quickly. Granted....I’m pretty sure my husband and I had the shortest ceremony known to wedding ceremonies but still, that whole extended weekend went by in a blink of an eye and I’m probably crazy for saying it but I’d do it again in a heartbeat. Not changing a thing along the way. Not even my tiny budget. I know it’s only been six days but since saying “I do,” I’ve never felt more free. extremely enjoyed planning my wedding. My blood, sweat, and tears were part of every detail and it came out better than I ever could have imagined. To the point that I might be considering a career change in the near future. I’m not a flashy bride. I don’t believe in a big ring, expensive wedding, or grandiose honeymoon. That’s not what this is Union is about. I do believe in embracing this time though so if that means you want all those things then you do you. Who am I to judge? Our tiny budget worked for us. We didn’t lack or need or wish for more and the biggest compliment we received by far has been that “They really considered their guests when planning their wedding.” We saved because we were smart. We started out wanting to go up in the mountains but really...after trekking across the world or country, who wants to do that? Regardless though our venue was a spot I always eyed but again never thought possible. No way! This place was freaking gorgeous. A botanical garden. It couldn’t be but it was with the time slot and day we wanted. Just a heads up, a wedding date that repeats in number will always be a popular one. It’s considered lucky. So does rain. It poured the day we got hitched but only in the morning and by the time it came to our nuptials, it was clear and gorgeous and glistening from rain drops. I’m not going to lie though that downpour had me worried. People kept asking what I would do if it rains and I always responded, “It won’t.” The week I got hitched, I sat with myself and wrote out all that I had hoped the following weekend would bring. I write these list often but this time I wrote, “It will be like this...” instead of “I don’t want this...” I wanted an experience. I wanted my guests to remember this day and weekend and that’s exactly what we got. With our location came a free day pass for all our guests and a membership for my husband and I. We kept our ceremony in the same location as our reception, making it easier for our guests to get to and fro. We opted for a small guest list and a small wedding party. Personally, all my would be bridesmaids live in other states and I didn’t want the hassle it comes with having bridesmaids for me or for them. I just wanted them to show up and minus a few, they all did. Happily. My mom and sister walked me down. My nephew/godson walked with my father. My other nephew rang a bell and hoped down the aisle alerting everyone I was on my way. My third nephew welcomes guests. My husband’s dad walked beside him behind his aunt who married us. I created a playlist and my radio DJ friends jazzed it up. I walked down to a song about mom’s and although, I didn’t see it...a bunny hoped out right before the ceremony on my husband’s side, staring the whole time, ears perked up in his direction. This song was serendipitous to what had occurred with my own mother and what my husband’s mother always played for him. The bunny hoped back into the bushes after we were pronounced husband and wife and I’m pretty sure that bunny was a combination of my husband’s mother and stepmother-two people who wouldn’t have missed this for the world. We were surrounded by natural beauty and by happenstance I picked a fun little pair of shoes that had peacocks on them-not knowing my husband’s mother collected peacocks. So I guess that was our theme. An environmental peacock, low key rustic garden get together. The feather became boutonnières, the plume became my mother and sister’s bouquet. My bouquet and centerpieces were the only flowers I paid for and all together was less than $100 dollars. I won’t go into many other costs because I learned in this experience-telling people the full amount is just like the “what do you do for living” question-this curiosity irks me to know end. I will say this-you can have a beautiful wedding on a tiny budget. I will tell you a few things though because they were awesome and I’m proud of them being thrifty. Saving vs. splurging was top priority and since this is a blog about thrifty living...I have to tell you where we saved and realistically where we didn’t. My dress was less than $500. It was the third one I tried on and I knew that was it for me. Interesting fact I just learned: my sign goes for that style. It was a halter style with pretty lace and a somewhat open back. It also had a train. I wore a peacock feather hair clip and had ‘love’ written on my ring fingernail. Both my dress and shoes will be reused. The shoes with no change and my dress made shorter with the rest being a quilt my mama will make. My husband wore a black vest with a black top, black pants, and a tie in the shade of peacock. His kicks were the biggest hit. They matched perfectly and stood out. Just like him. His suit and my dress were gifts from family. My mother bought my dress and plane ticket to get said dress and my sister and brother in the law bought my husband’s suit. Again, when in someone else’s pocket-don’t go overboard. You can get what you want for less, especially if someone is gracious enough to pay for it. Our budget for these things didn’t change once someone said they were paying for it either...and if we had more to work with, things wouldn’t have changed. I loved that dress (hence why I am turning it into other things) and my husband looked incredible. We were classy and elegant, fun and experimental. Put together but ourselves. Everything about that weekend was carefully considered and thought out and it showed. Our love for each other and all those who came shined through. That is what getting married is about. It’s not meant to turn into a spectacle or pissing contest. It’s not meant to be a social media shut down. It’s meant to exemplify the very things you are basing your marriage on. I’ve heard about these lavish weddings and I’ve been to a couple and maybe I’m biased when I say but those were carbon copies of one another. Mine had some similar characteristics but for the most part it was completely different. I loved that. We loved it. My husband even said it was one of the best times of his life and in my book that’s huge! In a way, I’m sad it’s over. Crazy, right? All the worries, all the stresses, and all the pitfalls...still don’t measure up to this special time coming together as it did. While I was planning it, I kept saying I couldn’t wait to see it as one cohesive event. I wish time had slowed down that weekend. The energy and love and magic that occurred were unreal and I feel confident it’s carrying over into married life. I know many people say that I’m their first few months/years of marriage but I truly feel he’s my twin flame and soul mate. We were meant to be together. I’ve always wanted to be a wife and apparently asked him when we were 20. His story not mine. We reconnected when we were 33 and he told me this. We moved cross-country, work together and live together. We’ve been through some tough times and shared some wonderful experiences and after all that, I know we will have a strong and lasting marriage. Our union is unbreakable and that was known before we made it legal. I feel so lucky in this regard: knowing we can overcome any obstacle....because all marriages have obstacles. We aren’t perfect and yes, we fight. That’s life and find me one couple that isn’t? We have no secrets and a trust in one another that’s far and few in between. We work at it everyday and making it legal doesn’t change that. The only difference I feel is this sense of freedom. I’m a wife now and some might find that restrictive but I see an opened cage. Doors unlocked with zero expectation for a return and it’s not just me, my husband feels the same. I see all his sides. The sides he doesn’t want anyone to see. The not so pretty sides. Sad truth, those sides are usually brought on by outside forces...but the week leading up, during, and now...I see a calm man standing before me. We’re a team and he’s not nor will he ever walk alone. Whatever comes our way, we can handle. Listen to me gush.....yea, yea...you came here for tips so without further ado...I bring you my wedding...in writing form. Freebies and suggestions: -Talented friends. Ask. They won’t mind and will love to do it. My photographer and I go back to grade school. She was half of what I was getting quoted and I liked supporting her business. -My reception music, a playlist created by three women: me and two girlfriends. We didn’t need fancy DJ’s. Those two did it professionally and music has surrounded our friendships. My husband and I danced all night...so did all of our guests. Then again, who can’t when you have a killer musical set up. -My makeup: another friend. She didn’t do this professionally but she knew what she was doing and I trusted her and she was proud to make me look radiant. -Upgraded rehearsal space. Don’t sweat the small stuff...it might turn into something fantastic. Unexpected turns will happen. Don’t freak out because everything will work out. Better than expected. -Upgraded and free couple suit at hotel. -Florals (mostly free but under $100 though). We got married in a garden. Enough said. -My dress, his suit: gifted by family members. -Our guest book: a wedding present from a promotion. Enter your name to wedding planning or bridal sites. You can clear mail as they come in. Go to bridal shows or just enter for free tickets. The guestbook wasn’t the only thing I won because I did this. -Free day passes for guests along with a year long membership to our venue and its events: concerts, anniversary gifts, seasonal happenings, and free entry for up to six people. Look at the perks of your space. If it doesn’t offer any and you still love it, go with it. If it does, definitely go with it. You are investing a lot and deserve some swag along the way. -Next day recovery kits for all hotel guests and a wedding night surprise gift for us from our hotel. Totally unexpected but most definitely a welcomed surprise. Look into reviews and do some research to hotels that make getting hitched memorable. By the way, do your vendors a solid and rate them. It’s a Yelp world out there and if you had a great time somewhere, write about it. It bothers me to no end that someone is so quick to complain but never that fast moving to say something nice. These companies rely on a technological mouth and unless you are an extremely hard person to please, you could find a good time in anything. -Wedding Website. Although, my mother did pay for a set of 20 paper invites for older family members and friends, we mainly sent a wedding website link as our invite. I liked working with it actually. It was simple and user friendly and environmentally on point. Let’s not forget, it was free! It became my wedding planner-keeping me on budget and on schedule the whole time. I highly recommend this tool to any soon to be bride on a budget or not. I used the Knot but have seen other sites that offer the same thing so you have options. No such thing as a Freebie: -Event space-ceremony and reception. Even beaches and parks can cost something. -Catering, cake and dessert. -Alcohol (unless you are cheap or have a dry wedding) *don’t be cheap no one wants to pay for drinks at a wedding. At that point, just be dry. -Photographer *where we saved with all these things: -We went small. This was huge with all of it. The more people, the bigger the price tag becomes. We were happy with our 65 guests. -We made our wedding centrally located to hotels, restaurants, the airport, and other accommodations. -We had both our ceremony and reception at the same venue, just a short walk away from one another. -We opted out of cocktail hour, a full sit down dinner, and a full bar. Our caterer provided us with heavy apps. I don’t understand cocktail hour....unless it’s small bite size food and a signature drink. Your attendees are eating again shortly so why give these huge plates of food then again serve huge plates of food. Doesn’t make a lick of sense and sounds so wasteful. Thankfully our time slot didn’t really allow for a cocktail hour. Our cake vendor provided us with l a small rustic looking cake and our catering company added doughnuts for extra desserts. Both were loved with little left over. Bonus: our cake vender will be giving us an anniversary cupcake in a year. Mmmmm. One more time, look for vendor perks. Still, without the anniversary treat our cake was inexpensive. Less than $300. While looking for this wedding element, the prices I kept seeing were insane. Like the cost of rent insane. It’s a cake people! What counts is if it taste good and this cake was delicious and it was adorable. A birch tree design with succulents coming out of it and our initials made to look like they were carved in. Our cake topper was a couple kissing under a tree. There are certain things I would do differently but that just me and no one noticed and every one loved it. -Alcohol. We supplied it and only provided beer and wine. A) the elevation is much different here than where most of our guests were coming from and the hangovers are a bitch. B) Liquor with chasers are expensive unless you want to punish your guests with the cheap stuff. We didn’t want to punish anyone. -Photographer. She was a friend that gave me an incredible rate. Things we splurged on but still wasn’t much: -We gave two gifts to guests. One: the glasses they got to drink out of (which we got many compliments on). Two: Their day passes that came with our wedding package. Another thing our guests kept telling us they loved. -Our space and food...but with these expenses came goodies so there was a happy exchange. We also had family contribute, making it easier on our part. Most of a wedding budget goes to location and food and even with help I was still determined to keep our costs low and we did. -We had a sunset ceremony and night reception. In total four hours. We wanted our guest fed but not be the only thing we did. Had we done it differently, our reception would have been eaten up by actual eating. We wanted to dance, socialize, and be with the ones we cared about. We wanted to spend little time sitting at assigned tables. We chose not to partake in some of the chosen traditional wedding routines. Which from what I hear from our attendees, was a breath of fresh air. We did a short and sweet ceremony that showed who we are spiritually. We weren’t announced at the reception. We didn’t have first dances with parents or tossing of garters or bouquets and we weren’t even going to have a first dance as a couple but that changed when my DJ pals played two songs: Willie Hutch’s “I Choose You”-a song my husband posted the day earlier to me (he doesn’t do social media) and the other Sade’s “By Your Side” chosen by my two girlfriends. This is one tradition I didn’t plan on but so happy to have the memory of. What was I thinking not wanting that? Another tradition we are saying nay too...our honeymoon. Gasp! You say? Nah, we are taking a few trips in the near future. We were gifted a trip to Jamaica next year. It’s with my husband’s family so it’s not technically a honeymoon buuut a pretty rad gift nonetheless. We’ll be visiting a friend for his wedding in Seattle next fall and there are a few spots we want to check out only hours away from where we live so we are okay with sans honeymoon. Sure, there’s places we want to visit and we will but first..are the things we want to take care of....so we never have to deal with them again. It will make our soon to be adventures all more incredible and I can’t wait for that time. Getting married, planning a wedding, celebrating a quick moment at the end of a long, tedious yet exciting hard task has been a humbling experience. I am overwhelmed by those who came. I am profoundly appreciative to the sentiments of those who could not. I am grateful to the universe and her signs. Amazed at the luck bestowed after all the chaos. I am excited about mine and my husband’s future and with that said, it’s time to live thrifty and show you how to has well. Next up real world living: the thrifty tribe style. This is the beginning folks. New chapter. Here we come.

The Beauty Aspect: The Rest of It.

The Beauty Aspect: Part Two

As Missy Elliot would like to say, “Get your nails done, get your hair did.” I’m a firm believer in the ladies pampering themselves but the truth most women work full time jobs and raise full time families. Those who don’t have both or just have one, still lead full time lives and that a lot can be taxing and of itself. And if you are on my boat, pampering means a financial selfish act that is taking away from a collective bigger picture. Sure, my fiancé wants me to feel my best and he loves to see me get dolled up (the rare times that I do) but when your planning a wedding or even just trying to make it through the monthly bills with a little left over for groceries; things like: “getting your nails done and your hair did” come with a definite “no” answer. That’s a $200 adventure in ‘self care’ at the cheapest rate possible. Yea, you’re nails might look fab and your hair might be on point but now the car payment’s late or for me, $200 is missing from the place labeled, “wedding shit.” Again, if you live in the world of luxury and can afford all the extras while sustaining a comfortable living, more power to you. However, this blog probably isn’t for you. I dunno, maybe it is? Maybe you too are down with saving a penny or two. Who am I to presume? For my other ladies that are part of the ‘Thrift Sister Tribe’ this blog is right up your alley and hopefully will turn into an ally? There’s nothing wrong with splurging. You deserve it! You work hard and life isn’t only made for wealthy folks to enjoy and for you just to pay bills and die. You’re worthy of the finer things and moments too. It’s just....when you don’t have deep pockets...you have to get creative with those wants and desires. It’s not a need. Yes, there is a need in all of us to never look like we just jumper out of a dumpster but when it boils down to “needs,” pampering yourself gives nothing to your survival. You may look great but if the lights turn off or you can’t eat for a week, that cute hairstyle and done up nails aren’t going to do you any good. I grew up lower middle class. I grew up knowing we were broke. Before it became trendy, I actually shopped at the thrift shops because that’s all we could afford. Now it’s just a part of me and I still shop in them regularly. I believe you can tell a lot about a town from their thrift shop inventory and because of this, any place I visit I make sure a consignment, antique, or thrift store is on the list of things to do. I’ve discovered some gems and I know...ONE DAY...I’ll find those Minnetonka boots I so desperately want. My mama didn’t name me Hope for no reason, you know! Not to mention the sweet finds are better for the environment. It’s reusing and recycling and why be part of the problem if you can be part of a solution? Some second hand goods are top notch and I love digging to find that golden needle in the haystack. Mind you some stores that claim to be second hand don’t have the second hand price tag to match. These shops annoy me to no end. “No, I don’t want to pay double the original price because it’s vintage.” Growing up I was never that kid wearing the most expensive styles. I was never that teen girl that had the newest haircut and make up always on. To this day, I rarely a face and my hair...well....that gets done by me but it usually involves a bun, braid, ponytail, or pigtails....if I feel like going the extra mile that. Nothing fancy, just simple and I’m okay with that. There are a few perks to not being able to afford make up though: 1) my skin looks great and 2) I look much younger than I actually am so you take the good with the bad., I guess. I look at some of these makeup and hair blogs and although I admire their looks, once the makeup is off their skin is terrible. It’s been terrible for years due to caking junk on over the course of time. *side note: when you leave your makeup on overnight, you add SEVEN YEARS to your face. SEVEN YEARS!!! When the hair comes to an in between phase, it looks brittle and fake. When the nails take a breather from all those colors, the nails are weak and yellow from all the chemicals schlepped on for years. And I don’t know about you but I swear, nail salon work-although nice occasionally-doesn’t last. Maybe it’s because I work with my hands or my nails grow exponentially fast but before I know it, I’m looking at nail color gaps and grown out cuticles. The upkeep alone would cost a fortune and why pay someone to do something I’m damn well capable of doing myself. Besides, my nail color collection didn’t just get purchased to sit on a shelf and collect dust. What a waste. Still, sometimes you want a new nail color or you want your hair to get done professionally. I get that. I want those things too...I am a women as well and I do them when I can, if I do desire. For the most part I can “wax my brows, do my nails without them looking manhandled, and create hairstyles that are fun and new. I’m still working on the hair dye part. Truth. I can’t figure out how to evenly distribute and it’s rather frustrating. No worries though. All those “girly things” require learning, tweaking, and honing in on a craft...and I’ve had opportunities to practice. I’m one of those people that fidgets and if I can keep my hands busy, I’m happy so there’s been many a random moment where while watching a movie, I’m testing out a new braid or plucking a hair or giving myself a mani/pedi. Being a restless person has taught me many things. Hahaha...everything except clearly the hair dying part...but just like my boots, I will master this one day too. What I can’t take care of myself, my resources can. Look ladies, we all have at least ONE friend who’s unbelievable at hair and makeup. Her skill and artistry are a talent and you have probably even given her a compliment or asked her to do you up a time or two. I’ve been asked to do a friend’s wedding makeup and I was both shocked and pleased. It was a huge compliment to me and it will be to your friend. I mean it was to me and it is to my girlfriend that I have asked. Let your community help and this goes for all wedding things and while you are worried about bothering your friends or family for help, they are actually moved by the sentiment and ready and willing to assist you in creation of your magical day. At one point in my life I had quite the makeup collection. It had taken an extremely long time to acquire. Extra tips saved for that new shade but in one night...one crappy night...my collection became someone else’s. *Story: I was in my 20’s and after a night out with my then boyfriend, I was focused on getting his highly intoxicated butt in our house. I left makeup bag in the car overnight because again, I was taking care of my drunk partner. The things you do for love. The next morning I saw my car had been broken into and my makeup bag along with a few CD’s and some change had been stolen. After that, I gave up my pursuit in purchasing high end cosmetics. I have replaced a few items but to me someone stealing everything I had worked many hours to get was like me setting the money I made on fire....and what’s that saying, “Screw me once, shame on you. Screw me twice, shame on me.” I can’t guarantee I will never leave a bag in the car again...just now...that bag won’t contain brand name beauty enhancers. Have fun stealing that one. Furthermore and this is just something I have noticed, a color is a color. I comprehend quality occasionally reflects price but let’s be honest, most things can be substituted by cheaper alternatives. Along with the dolled up face, done up hair and nails on *fleek, most brides I hear don’t want to look the color of their dress. Most are going for a darker shade of pale. That’s cool. I feel ya...and I’m on that bandwagon too...the only difference...the sun works just fine. I recognize what a tanning bed can ultimately do-sun kissed skin in a matter of minutes....and I’d be lying if I said I’ve never used one but once I learned how awful they were for you...I stopped. And, they are.....terrible for you and I’ve got to pick and choose my bad choices in life. You can’t have all the bad choices. I haven’t visited a tanning bed since my early 20’s and once it got warmer, it didn’t make sense to pay for something I could receive for free. I work from home so I have the ability to go outside often and I do. I sit in the sun for a few minutes then come back in and work. For an extra kick in darkness I use a mixture of lotion and cocoa and lather it on the skin or olive oil to to enhance the color kick. Just a few little tips I learned on.....(drumroll please).....dear old Pinterest. Here I go again plugging them. It definitely works but I recommend getting the consistency down by practicing before your big day or before giving up. What is it with me a ratios? Another nifty hack and this is a bonus from my first post...wanna brighten your smile? You’ve got to really cheap options here: one involves a lemon and the other hydrogen peroxide and they both involve baking soda. Your first option: squeeze a piece of lemon and mix with baking soda until you get a paste. Pat your teeth dry then apply the paste. Leave on for one to three minutes then rinse out. Brush your teeth and smile. Do this at least a couple times a week until you see your desired shade of pearly whites. Your second choice: add baking soda and hydrogen peroxide together to make a paste like consistency. This doesn’t have to be as thick as the lemon/baking soda combo-really it’s up to you. Brush your teeth normally and bam! Your teeth will be at least a shade lighter. I recommend doing both of these before bed. I say this because of two reasons. 1) You aren’t eating or drinking anything while you sleep so these hacks are working at their highest level for you. 2) Brushing your teeth is part of your nightly routine so it’s not that hard to schedule a teeth whitening regime during this time. And while we’re on the subject of money saving hacks here are your bridal or just life saving beauty tips as promised: skin, nails and hair. Thrifty Tip Four Incorporate your buddies on your day. I’m grateful for all the friends and family I have making my day extra special. My officiant: a relative. My DJ: an old roommate and retired radio personality. My photographer: an old high school buddy. The woman doing my hair and makeup: a girlfriend from college. I can’t empathize this enough: when going into wedding planning mode, the reality of how ludicrous “these essentials “ cost was eye opening....to say the very least. But since we’re just speaking about hair getting done and a face put on, I’ll stay on track and save those experiences for another post. My daily makeup routine isn’t much and I already have all the colors I want for my bridal look. To me buying more doesn’t make sense and I swear sometimes I am so overwhelmed by the choices on one shade of a color. Call it ‘Midnight Train’ if you want but I just see a dark blue. You know this only being humbled by being broke as taught me an extremely valuable lesson in consumerism. I am a conscientious buyer now and unless you have deep pockets, you too will be watching every penny during the planning of a wedding. Things come up and ideas change. Added expenses you never knew could be “added” do and YOU have to pay for them. No ifs, ands or other solutions about it. I will tell you this though....during the pissing out money right and left sometimes you fall into lucky freebies. I got tickets to a bridal show. It was a free bridal show but you still had to get tickets. Unfortunately, I was unable to go and super bummed about it but when work calls, you answer. Surprisingly, that ticket entered me in vendor giveaways. I won three in total. One was a makeover that came with a makeup package. Me, along with about 15 other brides-to-be received charcoal facials, were slathered with anti aging serums and got tested for perfectly matched cosmetic combinations. We also received some pretty sweet swag for participating. I came home after that venture feeling absolutely stunning and my fiancé loved the look too. Look for free bridal shows and get tickets. Go and get you some freebies or ideas. Enter those bridal giveaways. Hopefully you too will win a few contests. Indulge in those tiny bridal moments. You are allowed and not to mention, they are fun and in midst of all the wedding chaos, you will need some fun. In the last year, I’ve won: a guest book, champagne flutes, the makeover and some makeup, a three night hotel stay, and a few other things that unfortunately I couldn’t redeem or had use for. These have been the perk side of a very stressful situation and any bride on a budget looks at free as a godsend. Desperately needing some hair TLC, I finally after almost two years of it not being touched, not even a cut-found a coupon for a new client special. It turns out, I loved the woman who did my hair and will be returning as soon as I can splurge once more. With that said, look for coupons on all things. Both Groupon and community magazines are solid starting points. If you’re really tight on cash though but want something new or just a trim, look into cosmetology schools. The students need to log the hours as well as the experience and cuts and color are discounted heavily and I mean heavily. The only risk is: the student screws up. Although truth be told, years of training doesn’t necessarily mean someone doing this for years won’t do the same thing. There’s inherent risks with either. It happens so before your stress level rises just remember a bad haircut is a temporary ‘first world problem’ and to ensure you can overcome any hair disaster, plan ahead. Meaning don’t wait until the last month to get a style or cut. At the end of the day though, remember there are worst things that could happen and your guests or honey really could care less what your hair looks like. My hair and makeup gal is in another state but I trust her and love everything she does so I’m not worried about a one and only shot at making me look pretty. Without her help and handy work, I’d be doing it myself because I just can’t afford paying someone to do it. Which would be fine but on my big day this is one less thing I want to worry about and given that I’m a very hands on bride already and will continue to be as close to an hour before I walk down the aisle, nor do I want too. My friend is saving me and I couldn’t be more grateful. Reach out to your community. The worst that will happen is a “no” response but you won’t find this out unless you ask and when you start this process, you will be pleasantly surprised the amount of people that don’t might at all being involved. Skin: I have been blessed with good skin but making it remain that way takes effort on my part. I’m Greek and come from great skin genes but that’s no guarantee for life long results. Ladies, makeup is not helping your skin. It’s nice and fun to play with but it’s terrible for you. I’m not saying avoid it because I don’t so why would I tell you too. No, what I’m saying is your skin needs to breathe. Just like your nails do. Just like your soul does. Wear it occasionally. It’s not part of my daily routine but it may be a part of yours and that’s okay. I’m just giving you tips. Take them or leave them. Most of the time, my face is in its natural state. I’m 38 and often get mistaken for half my age. I still get carded and asked, “Are your parents home?” I attribute this not only to my DNA but also because I don’t plaster the makeup on daily. I don’t sit in the sun for long periods at a time, nor do I use SPF when I do. Interesting enough, recent studies have shown that SUNBLOCK actually causes more skin cancer than the actual sun itself. Whaaat? Yup, it’s a new study and if you haven’t heard about it, I recommend reading up. It’s definitely a perspective worthy of consideration. Not only does it enhance cancer cells but...if you are a water dweller like me...SPF destroys that too. The oils from these products wreaks havoc on a water’s natural ecosystem...so why even buy it? It’s not gods for you or the environment....win/win for your wallet and the earth. I mean, it’s one less plastic container to consume, right? Sometimes I want to scream at these makeover tutorials. They show some woman with horrible skin and yellow nails covering up the damage that’s been done...only making it worse. Those nails are yellow because of constant painting and salon chemicals. Your hair is brittle because you won’t give it time to heal from the last dye job you did. Your skin is breaking out because you won’t let air out. Ease up or age faster than a dying grape. Take care of these things now and don’t rely on fancy alternatives that deplete your financial goals. Get resourceful. For instance, if my skin is feeling drab one day, I lather it up with olive oil. Good old fashioned cooking olive oil. Hahaha. I guess I’m plugging olive oil now too. It works like a charm and if you don’t believe me, I encourage you to try it. I also wash my face daily and rinse it with cold water instead of hot. Usually before bed, right after I brush my teeth. I learned this from watching ‘Mommy Dearest’ and Joan Crawford was one crazy bitch but her skin was flawless so I’ll try anything once and my skin does appear tighter so I’ll stick with it. However, I don’t advise adding ice to the cold water. That shit hurts. *side note....if you do wear makeup daily, WASH IT OFF AT NIGHT. Not washing your face clean can add seven days to your face and I don’t know about you buuuut...I’m not trying to speed up the aging process especially since it’s already right around the corner for me. Nails: Just like I did for my high school prom, I will be getting my nails done professionally for my wedding. I’m only getting them painted and the word ‘love’ written on my ring finger fingernail though. Still it’s a factored in cost on the overall wedding spending but until then, I’ll paint them myself and if you can too, why not? Save that monthly or by monthly nail salon visit and put it somewhere else like: your honeymoon or other wedding extras. Get a foot bar and scrub your feet daily with it and if you have the extra time set yourself up to soak them and go all in. Give yourself your own pedi! You can say you don’t have time for that but if you don’t have time to do it yourself, how do have time to have a professional do it? Revisit your old nail color collection, you’ve got some goodies in there. I know you do. If they’re old add a little of nail polish remover to it. If it’s too old, throw it out. No need to hang on to it. Another useful tip for olive oil...if you have rough hands or feet...rub this stuff on. If you can sleep with socks on, lather and leave over night. If not, no worries. Just rub on after a shower and move on with your day. Tested. Tried. And true. Olive Oil is the nectar of gods. Us budget bridal babes need to cut corners wherever we can. Having someone else do what we can do is great and all but that cost money. Don’t deprive yourself but don’t over indulge either, especially if your weighing throwing a stellar celebration versus you being narcissistic for the sake of beauty. I will tell you this: what a great wedding boils down to is food, music, and free booze. Yeah, I wanna look my best. Like the best I’ve never seen before....but I care about my guests having a good time more. I will look my best. I’m getting married to the love of my life. I’m saying “I do” to my best friend. The glow only will make me look fierce. You don’t always need “your nails done or your hair did.” You don’t need to look tan when it’s cold or have the whitest smile in the room. You don’t need your face piled on with layers of swanky varnish. You are beautiful without all the extras and the costly upkeep. Unless you live to be a status rather than a real person, get your natural on! Embrace the days where you’re free of a social standard to be a sexy anything. You are sexy without all the hype and if you need all the hype to feel your best, that’s an inner issue that needs working out. No amount of nail and hair care, name brand goods, and body alterations will cure that. Speaking the married life...your partner...your life mate...loves you the same without the bells and whistles. They’ve seen you at your worst and they’ve showed you off at your best. They know who you are and what’s inside and I almost guarantee their fantasies involving you....don’t involve you all done up...it’s more like in your birthday suit and that’s all. My fiancé said this to me, “I’m looking forward to taking the dress off.” Hahaha and here I was worried about my hair, makeup, nails, body? I’m not a disheveled mess and won’t be on my wedding day either but I’m not consumed with a perfect body image. Maybe that comes with age or maybe because I have really never had the life that allows consistent princess pampering...doesn’t matter. I’m okay with it. I like myself and know myself well enough and when I’m on my deathbed people aren’t going to remember by what I looked like...they will be remembering who I was a person instead. Getting wedding ready doesn’t mean changing your appearance or going broke to be this unreal version of yourself. Freebies are always a welcomed treat and take this blog as such. My journey is almost to its end and through this whole adventure, I have learned some really rad things about myself. What I’m capable of. How creative I can actually be. How inventive and resourceful I am. How truly, I am, as a person. It’s a mysterious world-this wedding planning one. A chapter full of self discoveries and bittersweet with its ending. Still, there’s so much to be shared and even though my wedding experiences are wrapping up, yours might just be beginning. Next up: where I saved and where I couldn’t. And some handsy DIY tips that include some not so happy DIY observations.

Jul 1, 2018