There's An Advice Column In My Head

A long time ago, I had a terrible crush on an equally terrible guy. When he found out I had a crush on him, he responded by saying that if he exhausted all other options then maybe we could date. Ouch! I was hurt but it was a crush and the title seemed to foretell its future.

I hear he's writing a book now and I am happy to say I am a published writer as well but he'll never know that. He'll, like most of my crushed crushes, will never know that we could have worked, if given a shot. But, what's that saying? How's that song go? "Thank God for unanswered prayers?" Yea, I got this....thank you for showing me who you really are. Without that one move, this move would have never happened.

That's the thing about life...it offers up more than one navigational tool at a time and you have to choose accordingly or just buckle up and pray that the path you choose isn't going to shoot you right into a mountain side. Most likely you're going to choose the road less traveled, whatever the hell that means, and its going to be bumpy and ugly and gut wrenching so you'll need an air bag and a helmet and your favorite survival soundtrack.

But don't be scared. Hopefully, along the way you'll make a difference to someone and they'll do the same to you. Those are the people you want to cherish. Those are the people you want to honor and hold dear. Just decipher whether they're roots people or leaf people first. Trust. This distinction will help a heap in the long run, I promise. Of course, both are good and fun but as you get older, time becomes more precious and those who take up your time will understand this. 

My roots people are long term-we'll equally go to any length to get one and another out of a Mexican prison or any other slightly scary, sad, or squirrelly situation. We'll always be in each others lives. There will never be a good enough reason not to be. That's the pact we made and those types of pacts are unbreakable. 

My leaf people I will always hold dear and my memories will continue to make me laugh, cry, smile, and pout because it didn't pan out but we-going in-had an expiration date going out and we ignored it because regardless of life or time or whatever that we knew would inevitably tear us apart, we wanted to stay and experience each others road. So we did and it taught us something about one another. It always does. No harm nor foul and after all the disappointment and anger settled, life got back on track. Lesson learned and there is love still yet to give. As Tupac famously coined, "I ain't mad at cha." In fact, I hear you're doing well and I hope you know that I am too. You'd be proud, actually. I am proud of you...it's all I ever wanted but then again isn't that what we want...happiness.

Not bitterness.

The A-Ha moments that came a moment too late or too soon-however you look at the cup. The I wish I had and I did but it was awkward and I'm never doing that shit again moment. The Wow! That just happened happening. The story that never stops getting told. You see, it still all counts, it still all matters.

It shows you've lived so stop feeling bad already. You'll get rejected and you'll be loved. You'll hurt just like you'll in bliss and you'll realize that yes, in the long run, everything does happen for a reason and you'll be okay. You'll eventually be handed what you've been asking for the whole time: love, truth, happiness, peace...wholeness.