Today was, "Do what you need to do to take care of you day." I dubbed it this because for the past few weeks I haven't felt one ounce of magical mojo. My creative juices have been null and void and it's been a big-time bummer. So, this morning when I sat in my home office chair...one thing led to another and without any rhyme or reason I started and finished two websites that I have been putting off. While also, going through oodles of emails flagged, "freelance" jobs available. No, I'm not desperately trying to earn a buck instead both the websites and freelance jobs are representative of my creative outlets that one day hopefully will become a sustainable and livable form of income. So far it's just a hobby and a medium for artists to support other artists.
I've never really thought I was that great at anything but I always wanted to do something. I wanted to dye my hair a funky color cause it matched my imaginative personality. I always wanted to go to craft shows, DIY markets, art walks and such and be not just a patron but a seller as well. I always wanted to be that girl...the creative bohemian. Now, finally after all these years...I can say I am beginning to make that happen. You may wonder...(the whole two of you that stumble onto my blog)...why it has taken me so long to accomplish this? Well, self-confidence for one and for two-when you're broke....creativity becomes a luxury, not a priority. At a few weeks shy of 36, my self-confidence is soaring and my wallet isn't empty. For starters, I don't care what anyone thinks anymore. So that makes me less apt to shy away from cultivating my sublime life. Secondly, nooo-I'm not rolling in millions but I am finally reaping the rewards of all my hard work. At almost 36, I finally have enough money to: save, pay bills with, and play with. I'm no longer robbing Paul to pay Peter or deciphering which obligation, which bill, which adult responsibility, which whatever has greatest importance.
Finally.
So, in this present moment I planted the proper seeds for my subsequent destiny. Mark my words...a year from now I will be able to say that I am a living, breathing working artist. Among all the creative creators. This feels good, this feels right and I couldn't be more elated.
